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Books about education, social media posts, advice from neighbors, from school parents… Many parents feel lost among so many recommendations, and, moreover, up to 86.5% of them feel judged for how they raise their children. This is revealed by the study “Contemporary Parenting and the Use of Social Media: Tensions and Emotions.”
A very realistic case: at the hospital, shortly after giving birth, a first-time mother cradles her baby. She is tired, with dark circles under her eyes, and the baby doesn’t seem to latch on properly. She follows the advice given by the midwife, but only hours after the birth, both are learning, getting to know each other in this new life outside the womb.
In the hospital room, five middle-aged women, including the delighted grandmothers, watch and offer advice on various topics, sometimes even with conflicting opinions. The favorite topics are: how to wrap the baby to keep them warm; how the mother should breastfeed effectively; various reasons why the baby seems unsettled, etc. The mother, with stitches tormenting her, sighs without yet knowing that this public debate over her parenting won’t ever end unless she sets strict boundaries. Everyone will have an opinion, and they will, without a doubt, voice it constantly.
Nowadays, these opinions come from even more sources, including social media. So much so that the children’s footwear brand Biomecanics conducted a study through 500 interviews on the challenges of parenting in the digital world we live in. The report, “Contemporary Parenting and the Use of Social Media: Tensions and Emotions,” recently presented at the IV National Congress of Pediatric Nursing Associations, highlights the added burden of hyperconnection.
Nearly 9 out of 10 parents feel judged
Among the main conclusions of the study, conducted with parents of children aged 6 months to 3 years, is the strong emotional impact of the digital environment, leading 86.5% of parents to “feel judged for their parenting style,” while three out of four claim to “feel lonelier than before in their parenting experience” despite social media allowing them to be more connected and better informed.
Additionally, the high volume of information accessible to parents, while positively valued, is perceived as a double-edged sword. In fact, one in five parents claims to “struggle with constant access to information,” a circumstance that results in consequences such as an increased mental load due to constant updates or challenges in fully enjoying the experience of raising their children, as reported by the interviewees. In this regard, a quarter of parents express that access to this vast amount of information increases their level of self-demand.
“This is an unintended effect linked to new parenting models, and it’s advisable for parents to learn to put things into perspective,” explains Marta Delgado, CEO of the research consultancy Twiga and sociologist responsible for the study commissioned by Biomecanics
Confusion from contradictory recommendations
So many recommendations, tips, and role models have created a certain confusion. Parents, eager to absorb and apply educational trends that best suit their ideals, surround themselves with expert books that, surprise, sometimes contradict one another.
The study states that for more than 80% of respondents, raising children today seems more “challenging” than in the past, where “there were simpler rules and fixed parameters.” Perhaps that’s why almost all parents prefer to turn to traditional sources, such as pediatricians, mothers, nurseries, friends, and relatives with children, although these are increasingly supplemented by books and social media.
Instinct, always present
Do we really need so much training to raise a child? Has this packaged advice, as education expert Catherine L’Ecuyer suggests, overshadowed our instincts? The study “Contemporary Parenting and the Use of Social Media: Tensions and Emotions” is part of the campaign “No One Like You to Take the First Step,” promoted by Biomecanics, which aims to raise awareness of the importance of enjoying parenting and embracing instinct.
According to the study, 96.8% of parents believe that “information provides guidance, but the final decision lies with the parents, who know their children.” In this regard, they estimate that in decision-making, instinct plays a 60% role compared to 40% for information.